A narcissist is a person who display patterns of excessive need for admiration, constant praise seeking, feels entitled, lacks empathy, doesn’t like criticism, manipulative, controlling and they like to talk about themselves a lot.
I have had a few past relationships with narcissists and it wasn’t until years later I noticed my own family members are ones too. I shared this photo above as I think this is a perfect way of seeing how they are as they have two different sides.
One side out in public seems to be the nicest person, who can do no wrong and everyone praises them. Then the other face is what you see out of the public eye the narcissist, control freak the horrible side.
When I was with my ex husband I really lost who I was as a person. Had zero confidence and couldn’t look at anyone in the eyes. I started to believe I didn’t deserve things because of what I was told constantly over the years from him. He would make comments about parts of my body that I started to dislike it and couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. He even turned friends and my family against me and would act like he hadn’t done anything.
I went through a lot of mental abuse, financial abuse and cheating too. The best thing I ever did was leave him and made a better life for myself and our children.
When I look back at old photos of myself I had no light in my eyes and now I see happiness and I love the person who I’ve become.
One of the biggest things they do is manipulate emotions by telling false stories to keep people hooked, confuse the person they’re doing this too, or keep you dependent on them. They will often be really nice after doing this to confuse you and question it or maybe just shrug off their behaviour as it doesn’t seem a constant pattern.
This is what my last relationship done. He really love bombed me at the start, which I’ve never experienced before so didn’t think anything of it just absolutely loved the attention as I had been single for a long time before this. He had everyone fooled not just me.
Once the honeymoon period was over I noticed some things but didn’t pay attention as I was in love. When I looked back I did get annoyed at myself for not doing something about it, but I was so blindsided from it. I never experienced narcissism like this before on this level, so it was all new to me.
I had therapy because of this relationship and it really made me understand the way they work and how a lot of them pry on single mums. They like to insert themselves as a “fixer” like they can make all your dreams come true, be supportive, when really they just cause havoc and emotional distress.
They can use the children to be won over by the mum by showing them with affection or buying gifts like a false sense of being a family.
Narcissists use arguments tactics like Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offend to confuse you. When this happens we are quick to prove our reality and the facts, but this doesn’t get you anywhere. The best thing you can do once you’ve detached yourself from them is to ignore them and block them. This will drive them crazy, but it’s the best thing for your mental health and your immune system.
Personally I think it’s harder to deal with narcissists who are family members as we would think our nearest and dearest wouldn’t treat us badly. Like the love is a deeper level compared to a relationship level.
One of the best things I done was cut off my family after the way they treated me because it really affected me mentally and physically. My body came out in hives and marks from stress, skin was flared up, my health deteriorated and with the trauma of the breakdown of my abusive marriage as well as this I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia from the trauma.
I found being a sensitive empathic person I attracted these people and felt they were sent to me, for me to help them heal. But it isn’t our job to do this it’s down to them. I now notice narcissists a lot sooner than I done before and I’m grateful I do. My peace is protected and no one will bring that down again.
I have helped my children understand the traits of them so they are aware as I don’t want them to experience what I’ve been through. It’s actually an eye opener that some children can be like this, but I do feel sorry for them as I do think they don’t realise what they’re actually doing.
I found counselling, journalling and crystal healing really helped me and helped me heal from The trauma. This is what gave me the passion to start my own Spiritual and healing business, as I wanted to help other people who have been through similar experiences.
Hope this has helped you. Do let me know if you would like me to do more blogs like this.
If you are going through something similar and would like more help with this I offer mentorship and crystal healing either in person or online. Feel free to email me for more info